Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
how drunk are you?
Several
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
