I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
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I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
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Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying