Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?