we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
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they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
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first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!