wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked