Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying