she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
