Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
