Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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