This is not my ceiling
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
