I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
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