It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
