its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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