Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
