I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
