Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
