Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
