giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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