last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize