Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
