You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
