My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
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I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
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I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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