I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
