Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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