we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
