there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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