Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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