She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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