it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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