I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
