I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
