they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
