We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
