What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
