nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
