HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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