remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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