Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
