It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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