I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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