i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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