ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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