lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
