She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
