Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize