Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
