so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
