i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize