new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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