I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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