I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
