You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
