You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am naked and annoyed.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize