He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
