What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
