I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
