I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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