I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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