Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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